Reddit Introduces The Button, Continues Tradition of Staging Weird April Fools' Day Social Experiments

In the early hours of April 1, the official Reddit Blog introduced The Button.

Cryptic words were given:

You may only press the button once. We can't tell you what to do from here on out. The choice is yours. visit /r/thebutton

01
Here's how you brand yourself with The Mark of the Button

via Reddit

Once visiting r/thebutton you are presented with the titular Button and a countdown clock measuring the nonexistent patience of reddit users.

As a regular subreddit, it also includes a list of voted topics, which is where things take the usual turn.
02
It began a site-wide argument about everyone pressing or not pressing The Button

via Reddit

Because, you see, if you press The Button, you aren't simply left with The Shame. You are given a tiny bit of flair that will here on out, dictate all human relationships.
03
Those who press The Button receive a purple dot next to their username

via Reddit
04
Those who don't are given a calming grey one

via Reddit
05
This led to the quick rise of a temperance move

via Reddit
06
The temperance movement started its own subreddit: r/NoTap

via Reddit

At the official movement site non button-pushers rally around each other for support.
07
One stalwart Redditor has graphed The Button data every ten minutes

via Reddit

Here's a few more examples:

All the while /u/bealan has still NOT pressed The Button.
08
No one knows what will happen should the timer reach zero. Here is the closest recorded occurance:

via Reddit

Maybe just hold your loved ones tight and pray The Button keeps getting pushed.